Written by Jen Liu

“It can be surprisingly difficult to include ourselves in our compassion practice, but it is for this reason that teachers like the inner critic are so valuable. Each time we manage to show ourselves the grace we would readily offer another, we strengthen that muscle of the heart, and our compassion practice becomes a little more complete.”

We all know the cliché of meditators being perpetually carefree, chilled-out people, but mindfulness practitioners are just as prone to having a harsh inner critic as anyone else. Ironically, that unkind voice can even seem to get louder as one's practice deepens, as a result of increased awareness and previously unconscious tendencies coming to light.

As with most other challenging aspects of being human, mindfulness practice won't eliminate adversity, but it gives us a framework for working with it. If we want to transmute our inner critic into a teacher and friend, we can turn to the teaching of compassion, one of Buddhism's four heart practices or brahmaviharas.

While criticism is rooted in the analytical mind, compassion is all about the heart. On the fulfilling yet often thorny path of self-inquiry, whether we're able to practice self-compassion can make the difference between holding a healthy aspiration for growth or a destructive inner narrative that we aren't, and maybe never will be, good enough. When the desire for self-improvement isn't balanced with compassion, we can unintentionally take on the role of a bully toward our own progress and confidence, causing more harm than good.

If we find ourselves in that unbalanced place, we can generate compassion for the part of ourselves that is acting as the bully, as well as the part that is being bullied. Rather than seeing that dynamic as an unavoidable fact of our existence, we can touch into the perspective that, quite simply, the causes and conditions for self-aggression are present. From being bombarded by modern day consumerism's messaging of scarcity and inadequacy, to experiences at school or work where we felt our creativity was stifled, there is no shortage of reasons why we might trade in our innate curiosity and playfulness for shame and fear as the years go by.

Whatever the root cause, we can cultivate a sincere wish for all aspects of the self to be free from the suffering and confusion that leads to the compulsive denigration of our own worth and basic goodness. This can induce a felt experience of tenderness and acceptance that dissolves the overthinking quality of the judgmental mind by understanding it, not by warring with it.

It can be surprisingly difficult to include ourselves in our compassion practice, but it is for this reason that teachers like the inner critic are so valuable. Each time we manage to show ourselves the grace we would readily offer another, we strengthen that muscle of the heart, and our compassion practice becomes a little more complete.